Sex and the Naked Ape

The three letter word "sex" is more important than the four letter word "food", we admit it or not, it is a fact. Every single second, we think about it. Our every move controlled by it. When a man and a woman come closer, the word starts to float around in their minds. Why sex is so important to human beings? During these times, with so much population all around the globe, it is not really the reproductive purpose which comes to the fore. Sages, in Eastern as well as Western civilizations tried to conquer this "feeling" through meditation and abstinence. In almost all monasteries, the practice of celibacy is followed, as if enlightenment and sex are contraindicated.

Sex is considered dirty, at least by some. We use the "dirty body passages" (through which the wastes are excreted) for doing sex. We use all dirty tricks to get laid down. Even murder is on cards when there is competition. We turn ourselves into wild animals, more like a predator-prey relationship, rather than the poetic lovers. Rapes are rampant. Rape is more mental than physical, even otherwise normal people get involved in such "sex crimes", falling for the crux of a single moment. Sex transforms people, into good or into bad.

Looking "sexy" is the ultimate aim. Every body wants to look like "Brangelina". However talented and gentle a person is, without mirror cracking looks he/she cannot make a mark that easy. The sexy look is always over-rated. We automatically form a conclusion that good looking people are talented. Good looks cloud our reason. We know that the looks are totally a gift from good genes, handy work in gyms or manufactured by using cosmetics. Still we fail to see the "real". A good looking person sans any kind of talent can easily get to top. Because it clouds ones judgement. Sex plays in the background.

The book cover of Desmond Morris's Book " the naked ape"

Whether it is a sexy man/woman, or a not-so-sexy man/woman, they all do the "same things" in their "bedroom" according to our instinct. The "bedroom behavior" normally don't differ much, our instincts too are similar although some variations can happen with cultural and social conditioning - we all do it in the same way, the way we are trained to do, the way of our instincts. As Dr. Desmond Morris states "We have the largest brain of all primates but also the largest penis, and is therefore "the sexiest primate alive". Aha, no wonder we are addicted to sex. Dr. Morris wonderfully describes the human sexual behavior in detail in his book "The naked ape"; well,  I am not going into the details. Read the book and you will find out that we are all not that different in bed. :)

Try this article from Dr. Desmond Morris, it is very informative (link).

Just like the protagonist in the TV sitcom " Sex and the city" quips about men, " all cats look same in the dark". Yeah, true. We need to grow beyond the "three letter word".

Masturbation - No worries!

Masturbation is a sexual practice which is often misunderstood, considered taboo by some religions and subsequent cause of depression in young men called "Dhat Syndrome". But I think masturbation is the safest and utmost pleasureful sexual activity without disturbing the sexual mores of society. Here are some wonderful statistics  about masturbation. Go to this link for full details.

I am not going to reveal my frequency :)

Loss of innocence (Part 2) - Rite to "Gaydom"

Continuation of  Part 1 - Tribulations

We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict ~ Jim Morrison 

Image courtesy: adolescent boy

Adolescence: Surging hormones, burning desires, competition for almost everything, peer pressure, fear, new knowledge and a new path to travel. He got into a professional college; new friends, new environment and hostel life which proved to be a lair of opportunities. He was staying away from home for the first time in his life; nostalgia crept in almost every day into the thoughts resulting in an uncontrollable urge to fleet back to his familiar room at his beloved home.  Besides, it was hell of a time for “Freshmen” – Ragging – the “inevitable evil” with a “glorified goal” for making people stronger for enduring any difficult situation. Well, there were quite many instances which point to the homosexual undertones of such ragging rituals viz., stripping stark naked in front of a boisterous crowd, passing lewd comments on each others’ personal endowments and the best thing was yet to come - imagine a situation in which the senior educates an ignoramus junior about what is meant by a “blow job” or a “bear back” in the vernacular language which was far grosser than English. He was a little taken aback by these; it was more than a jolt to his resolute moral spirit which he always tried to preserve. He was a person who has not even seen a pornography film at the age of seventeen and was totally unaware of the sexual innuendos prevalent among the youngsters. He had never read books with titillating and explicit sexual details and he did not even know the details of heterosexual sex, let alone homosexual sex. 

Hostel, the treasure trove for all the “valuable information” and the ambiance it created was disconcerting. He was baffled, his moral self traumatized, the conflict was beginning to emerge from the deep abyss of his mind. Even though he was not aggressive about sex, he was not aversive to sex either. Sex always sells. Sex, the most overrated feeling of humankind, the experience which can alter a person overnight, the craving which can make people knowingly destroy their own lives, the momentary pleasure for which many small and large battles were fought in history. Sages all over the world searched for ways surpassing this burning desire (a yogi in the making?) but still it is what which decides many things in our life. One day his close friend had taken him to an internet café, initiated him to pornography and unveiled the vast world of bodily desires and vices; the handsome bodies, bizarre practices. But what was that caught his attention – it was not the female body, but the men in those films. He looked at those “sculpted Greek gods” with sheer awe. 

The mask was starting to fall down, but he managed by deliberately commenting on the female body anatomy, cautiously avoiding even a single word about his “real” object of desire. “That Mask” was the most suffocating thing, he always admired the “effeminate men” for their audacity, for they embraced their self even when the whole world had declared war on them, the whole world noticed them as freaks and totally non-conforming. There were indeed many skeletons in the closet and fear lingered. It is a big burden to live a secret life. He vehemently desired to tear the mask he wore and come out to all. But in doing so, the consequences would have been severe - disownment, ridicule, alienation and the list goes like that. Well, there were many things in store for him. This was just a beginning. Soon, his entire moral conscience would be tested, severely tested. Will say more in the coming parts.

(Continued in Part 3 – Metamorphosis).