Orlando - I feel hopeless!!!!

Every gay man and woman would have heard the news of Orlando shooting completely terrified and would have froze by the fact that the man who did that was a regular at the "Pulse" bar. He is reportedly a closeted homosexual. Investigation is going on and that is good. But is it enough? Listen to some of the voices which are nothing but abject homophobia. Some were congratulating the killer for shooting 50 innocent human beings. The ridiculous fact is that they were speaking such trash on a completely hypothetical ground in the name of religion and god. They believe god has punished the gay sinners in the form of the maverick shooter. There were many ridiculous tweets which were not only homophobic but misanthropic. Such reactions from society really terrifies me as a human being than being at the gun point. People are justifying the killing of a fellow human being. And what is their fault - they love somebody belonging to their own sex.  Reading such comments actually makes me ashamed of calling myself, a human being. I am far more comfortable being an animal, if this is what human means. These self anointed guardians of faith and religion are the real terror and they spread the intolerance faster than a jet plane. 

Once renowned Indian author Vikram Seth said that " intolerance is violence and accepted intolerance is violence with the acquiescence of the society". Very true. If society alienates from such atrocities and people who support such atrocities, they will no longer exist. But there are always takers for any kind of atrocities in this world. There are supporters for all kinds of evil. Evil in the name of god. Evil in the name of belief. Evil stemming from ignorance. Evil stemming from fear. Sometimes it seems hopeless. Breaking these shackles is the real struggle. Religion is that kind of evil like the fox in the sheep skin; nobody realizes the impact it causes, until the last moment. It is like a Trojan horse. Deceptive and effective. It clouds logic, clogs mind and makes people slaves. The shackles can be broken only by collective consciousness. collective mindfulness, collective effort; each individual is important and must contribute. Hope for a peaceful world.

 Courtesy: Thoughtcatalog blog

A touching video on bullying gay kids - What if being gay was normal and heterosexism a perversion?

photo credit: link

What if gay was the norm? This little parody video says it all, in one imaginary homo-normative world, what a hetero-person, a "different" person in that world, would probably feel and face: a parody on the status of every gay man/woman in this hetero-normative world. I think this will help to make heterosexual people more aware of what kind of alienation and isolation a gay man/women feel in the hetero-normative world, as I feel it is very difficult for many hetero-people to fall in the shoes of a gay men/women. But they may understand it if the story is told in their own psyche, in their own situation, they may relate to it better. Awesome video. Wonderful message. See it. You won't regret.

Indian Gay Friendly Heterosexual Celebrities - Part 1

The support to gay people is increasingly growing, day by day, which is a good thing and the right thing to happen. But homophobia still exists in many parts of the world, India is no exception. Hinduism has always been liberal, did not denigrate the sexual identities and gay characters can be seen in many of our Hindu epics. Still we are not at ease about the growing visibility and the support provided by NGO groups for gay rights and gay cause. We consider gay love as against nature even though there is ample scientific evidence to refute that claim. The principal opposition party in India, BJP (Bharthiya Janatha Party), whose ideology is built on Hinduism, is totally against the gay cause, they indeed categorically labelled it is as “unnatural”. We still embrace the Victorian morality which is an import of our erstwhile colonial  masters at the behest of the religious leaders and groups. Religious leaders are unanimous at least in this issue. They all don’t want “gay things”, at any cost. In many TV interviews, thank god, they did not say all gay men should be screened, identified and shot - a hunt similar to the witch hunt in the past can be proposed to eradicate the “gay disease”. The role of celebrities in removing the prejudice associated is immense as they have huge fan followings and can reach out to great length with the help of social media sites like twitter. But most celebrities are not willing to take care of this cause as they are afraid of getting their image tarnished. The celebrities who are actually homosexuals remain closeted because of the social stigma and never talks about gay issues. under such circumstances. We cannot expect the heterosexual celebrities to rally behind  us when “our own celebrities” are staying numb. Here are some of the Indian heterosexual celebrities who openly back gay people (at least in their talks).

 AMIR KHAN

The ever youthful Amir Khan

Amir Khan's female avatar in Coco cola ad.

     Amir khan, the most “cerebral actor” of Bollywood had indeed shown the courage to don many drag roles in the past like the ones he did in a Godrej advert, coco cola ad, TATA sky ad and his stint as a female dancer in Ashutosh Gowariker's 1995 action film “Baazi”. He is an actor who uses his brain pretty well and speaks out his mind even if the issue is contentious. 

In the film "Baazi"

During the wake of re-criminalization of Section 377,  he said that,

“I am more disappointed with this judgment. It feels very intolerant and violative of basic human rights. It's a shame”. Well said!!

JOHN ABRAHAM

He had no qualms in appearing in a “gay themed romedy”, “Dostana” (well, not gay themed in a stricter sense, but it definitely helped in bringing the “gay scene“ to limelight, though I believe the portrayal of gay men in that film was stereotyped). The film also seen him dauntingly flaunting his chiseled body (God, am I drooling?) and turning him into a “gay icon” overnight. He admitted that he has been hit regularly by gay men ever since and quipped “Look at the bright side, at the end of the day, it’s a compliment. Look at his answer to the question - How does it feel to be a gay icon? “If the women can, why not the men? Today homosexuality is so open world over. To think that the same gender likes you is a plus”. We hope, everybody thinks like you. He also said on possibility of turning gay ever, “I will turn gay only for Abhishek. He is my most beautiful co-star.” We admire you man. But you cannot “turn gay”. It is not a choice and it has nothing to do with beauty. Anyway, thank you for the support!!

FARHAN AKHTAR

The versatile Actor-director Farhan Akhtar tweeted: "The Supreme Court got it wrong today. Sec377." He is like Amir Khan records his strong statements just like in the case of Nirbhaya, he came out in support of LGBT people, he elaborated that “I feel it is a primitive law and does not have any place in today’s society. People have the freedom to choose who they want to be with. As long as they are consenting adults, they have the right to do what they want and I don’t think we should be peeping inside people’s bedrooms and telling them what to do".

Loss of innocence (Part 1) - Tribulations

Prejudice is a learned trait. You're not born prejudiced; you're taught it. ~ Charles R. Swindoll

Image courtesy: coolpics.com

He was a timid boy, reticent, frail, had hopeful magnetic eyes and a disarming smile. He smiled even when his heart sank every moment from the confusion churning inside his little mind. What am I? Why I am not feeling anything to girls like all other guys of his age do? Why I am attracted to boys? Is it normal? He was a boy for sure, by appearance, but with thoughts, was he? He tried to cast off the doubts and suppressed all his feelings. The biggest problem was he knew that he was different from others. Day by day, his mind got clouded, more doubts emerged, old and suppressed ones resurfaced, somehow he managed himself and did not utter a single word about his mental tribulations to anybody else, be it friends or parents. Despite this, he was one among the academic toppers and had a flawless record on his conduct and character, not even a single blemish during his entire school and college days. 

Even though his confidence hit new lows most of the times, he was happy that he had some things to brag about. He wore a mask, in order to get conformed to the societal norms. Fortunately for him, he was not effeminate or could successfully mask any such dubious traits which will prove suspicious. He was interested in sports, he was into arts as well, which again was contradictory to the traditional stereotypes of both sects; gay men shun sports and macho men shun arts. He was indeed a bag of contradictions. He read voraciously about the “little gay thing” in his mind and collected as much data as possible from periodicals and magazines. By college days, he came to know that it is not a sin but still he was worried. If it is not a sin, why society is not accepting it? Why society is not talking about it? Why so much hazing and bullying in schools? He has seen his effeminate classmates being taunted and bullied by the “self appointed macho rookies”, in order to cure them or change them. Moreover it was sheer pleasure for everyone else (even bystanders/onlookers) to taunt those “different boys” ignoring the fact completely that they were gentle/talented and never create any kind of nuisance to others. They were even mocked at in buses, the conductors and drivers all played their destined parts in the game. Society nodded for this entire misdemeanor; without the all approving acquiescence of society, such things would never happen. Why they were treated in that way? We are either suspicious or afraid of things we don't know about. Well, there were some conspicuous differences in these boys - their gestures, their talking style, all were remarkably different and of course they are “easy targets”. Many of these men prove to be closeted homosexuals (from some personal experiences retold) and only god knows how many boys these men had exploited. 

Closeted men usually behave homophobic and target gay men. To take down any man, the simplest and most effective trick is to label him less masculine, a sissy; beyond culture, beyond geography, it proves the same. The macho image of a man is so ingrained in human brain that it is virtually impossible to think beyond stereotypes. Anybody who does not fit into that groove will be forced to suffer the consequences. This whole issue was beautifully dealt in Michael Kimmel's article titled "Masculinity as homophobia" published in 1994. The fear that infused into his young mind by seeing all this was enormous and he used all his strength not to cast a single shadow of doubt upon himself. The constant fear of getting “outed” lurked and lingered which was indeed painful. He reminded his mind always that he had a rich legacy of people like Leonardo Da Vinci, Michael Angelo, Oscar Wilde, Martina Navratilova, Ricky Martin, George Michael and many others who are legends in their own right. At least it served to pour in some confidence, some purpose to his life. 

Human beings boast of superior intellect and the “innate humanness” which makes them better than animals. Animals never really hunt their own species unless they are dead or physically maimed but we hunt our own people. When grown up, he came out to some of his close friends. They never really understood the whole issue but were supportive. They used to ask “why you have these thoughts? Why can’t you love a girl?” Aah, he was like this since 12 years old or maybe even before that. He noticed his differences from other guys who drooled over girls, who were nervous in the presence of a girl, who vied for their every attention and would treat girls like a “material” rather than a “soul”. He never looked at girls as an object of desire despite having good company with them. Instead he had strong feelings for his boy friends; in fact, had puppy-love on many of them. He thought it was just a phase and it will change as age advances, but it only increased. He was living a life full of lies.

(Continued in  Part 2 - Rite to Gaydom)